I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
