Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize