You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
