Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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