I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I AM VODKA MAN
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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