Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
