Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I want a musical about memes.
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