There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
