There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
