maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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