Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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