Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
