um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My pussy is not your playground.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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