I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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