Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
