I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
