i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
