So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize