Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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