I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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