I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize