"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
