It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
