Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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