I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
