Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
