i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
only if we run a train.
done.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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