I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
