During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
3 2 1 whiskey
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
