dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
