Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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