Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
