Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
