it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
