...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
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I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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