so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
