This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
