ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
