I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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