Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Im part way to drunk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
