I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
a search helicopter?!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
