Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
