The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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