I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
