Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
