I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
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Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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