There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
