totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
