I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
