a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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