i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
