I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
