She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
