I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
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Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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