the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
