MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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