Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
