I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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