I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
