I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to