Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just cut my nipple shaving
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.