there's paper in my vomit.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
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There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.