please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
