Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
