Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
