i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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