So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
