yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize