who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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