so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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