Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
