Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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