Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
false alarm. still invincible.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
