we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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