Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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